Another year older, another year wiser or so they say. Well, that remains to be seen. Certainly, I've been a lot more introspective about my life, its direction and what I would like to achieve out of it. Sometimes work takes over, blurs my perspective and ability to think long-term or far ahead. Now is no longer the time to hesitate but to grasp what is before me.
For the past few years, I have led a completely self-indulgent existence. Moving back to Singapore has certainly afforded me that luxury. With this short stretch to 40, I have decided to implement a 5-year plan to put me where I want to be - in a position to fulfill my life's goals.
As I start on my journey of self-fulfillment, one of the things I want to do is to regain a sense of my old self - focused, disciplined, and (yes! believe it or not...) fit. To that effect, I am going to start running again.
Here's a great list of inspirational (and aspirational) races that Singapore has:
31 May 2008 - adidas Sundown Marathon
8 June 2008 - The Saucony 100Plus Passion Run
29 June 2008 - The Lion City Marathon
6 July 2008 - The Citi-Milkrun
20 July 2008 - The Shape Run (all-women's)
24 August 2008 - The Singapore Bay Run
October 2008 (TBA) - New Balance REAL Run
26 October 2008 - The Great Eastern Women 10K (all-women's)
December 2008 (TBA) - The Standard Chartered Marathon
No other form of sports has given me the same tremendous satisfaction and sense of achievement than a long, slow run with my music plugged in (though an hour or so at the driving range is also not bad).
You finally have a real sense of your body - you struggle as your lungs fill with air through exertion, you hear your heart beating and the blood pumping, you feel the slight ache on your foot and calf muscles as they stretch and contract... At the end of it, you're drenched with sweat. Best of all, you've had all that time to think in solitude and quiet - something very rare in a demanding urban setting.
So this is how I propose to set off on the road to 40...with each step propelling me forward, head up, back straight - surging towards the bright, shiny future!
On Tuesday night, I was taking the route I always take to go home after dropping off a friend when a car collided into me. Needless to say, after clocking in 12 hours of work - it was a very annoying accident when all one wants to do is go home and rest. After a little finger-pointing, the Langgar Lady and I parted ways with each other's contact details. A little after 24 hours had passed when she called me to accept the blame and pay for the repairs.
We agreed to meet at her recommended auto repair shop to assess my car. Everything was amicable and pleasant, quickly settled within 15 minutes. She then offered me a ride into town where I was scheduled to have a morning meeting. During this ride, I began to learn about the story of the Langgar Lady.
Originally from China, she and I discovered that we both had roots in the province of Fujian. She left her hometown (a little island opposite Taiwan, outside of Fuzhou) and a comfortable life as the daughter of a high-ranking Chinese official at 17 years of age to take a job as a factory worker in Singapore. Since then, Singapore became her home - all of 21 years ago.
As a Singaporean, born and raised here with my inner circle of Singaporean friends, it never fails to surprise me when I discover Chinese of other nationalities among us. Of course these days, Chinese nationals are not really a big deal. They come in by the shiploads. However, Chinese nationals who came over to Singapore 15-20 years ago seem to be relatively rarer, or was it because I never paid attention?
This also reminds me of the time when I went to Bintan with my cousins and the girl who was as sea-sick as I was asked me for some preserved plums (that I desperately sucked on hoping to abate the growing green-ness in my face). It turned out that she is Vietnamese Chinese, who came to Singapore to attend secondary school then never went back. Or the elderly neighbour that we had when I was growing up who, on occasion, would baby-sit me. She walked around in what I now realise was an ao dai, but as a child it never struck me as odd or different.
Singapore is truly a "melting pot" for Chinese of various backgrounds. Perhaps it's easier because ethnic Chinese from all over can blend in easily into Singapore, whether they're from mainland China, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Malaysia or Indonesia. They live among us, and maybe we recognise them as "Chinese-educated" or "cheena" without fully grasping the fact that they're not raised in Singapore but are recent immigrants.
An expatriate friend once told me that Singapore has no culture, no depth, no history. His explanation is that the English language - a completely foreign and transplanted language - is destroying our inherent culture. What exactly is that culture? Even Chinese ethnicity is a complete misnomer. With so many Chinese of different nationalities all speaking their own versions of the Chinese language (beyond Mandarin we have Cantonese, Hokkien - also known as Min Nan, Teo Chew, Hakka, Hainanese, Hock Chew, Shanghainese, that I can think of off the top of my head), not to mention the Indians with their own diversity of languages - it's little wonder that the government decided to adopt one language to unify everyone.
As Singaporeans, we always struggle with our cultural identity. The truth is - it's hard to pigeon-hole a Singaporean simply because we are an immigrant society with the indigenous Malays making up a minority of the population. And immigration is not just something occurring 80 years ago (which is when my grandmother came to Singapore) and earlier, but continues to on till today with Chinese, Southeast Asians, Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Sri Lankans.
Perhaps what we are instead are the quintessential Asians - a cosmopolitan mish-mash of whatever Asia has to offer. The culture is there, so myriad that it's false to squeeze it into the neat little government-created categories of "Chinese, Malay, Indian, Eurasian". And for the taking, if one would only dig a little deeper to hear a person's story.
My thoughts from a little car accident.
* langgar - Bahasa Melayu for "collide"
